Thursday 21 February 2008

The Thuggish Gangs of Home Counties Commuters

The middle classes have been harassing me on public transport again! Its ironic, the crack smoking kids on the Medway valley line never give me any hassle! But if I get on a train pointing towards London, Monday to Friday office hours, then I am guaranteed to get my feathers ruffled by middle class thug in a suit.

This particular “Twat” had the jimmy cheek to tell me to remove my “dirty” DM vegetarian boots off the seat! To which I replied “No” and “my boots are clean thank you very much”. Gobsmacked that someone should put him back in his cage! The delusional monkey stopped making the ape sounds and then grassed me up to the conductor (quickly retreating back behind his Times Newspaper). They have absolutely no honour.

Of course, a reasonable person might point out that someone else has to sit on the train seat; does a reasonable person also believe that the average commuter is capable of performing an unselfish act? No! What riled this particular "Freak" was an evangelical belief in his own upwardly mobile position in society, he was snob. What is it with these “professional” middle class people and their incessant need to impose themselves upon innocent members of the public? I could never imagine a working class person outwardly telling me how to behave in a public space. It would be considered extremely rude.

Friday 1 February 2008

14,979,243 + 1 UK donor's

I Became a donor today...a bit of strange experience to think that my bodily organs might end up in another person one day; I always took it for granted that these limbs of mine would always be mine and of course the little wiggly worms in my grave; but this might not be the case anymore? I hope my hands are transplanted to a sexy lesbian super model; although knowing my unfortunate luck! I will most probably get half by brain transplanted into a lobotomised Tory.

It is a very un-ceremonial experience becoming an online donor; simply type in your name, address and just one tiny click of the mouse and you are whisked away to a “Thank You for becoming a donor webpage” with a picture of a leering Gary Liniker; Talk about an anticlimax to my altruistic deed for the day! Despite this, becoming a donor is actually very very (very) important; after seeing patients in need of liver transplants in hospital and not being able to get matching transplants, I really had no excuse.So...

Become a donor